Yartquaffon is a god.
He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, all-powerful
hedgehog.
Yartquaffon created carbon four years ago.
If you believe in
Yartquaffon, he will ignore you.
If you do not believe in
Yartquaffon, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.
Yartquaffon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.
Yartquaffon's Holy Commandments1. Never mention frogs.
2. Your children must be taught to worship Yartquaffon.
3. Hide from blue doves for they are unholy.
4. Always take life seriously.
5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.