Zensomfid is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, passionate penguin.

Zensomfid created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zensomfid, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zensomfid, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Zensomfid's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Zensomfid's Holy Commandments

1. Zensomfid loves voles, so they must be honoured.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not run in public.