Sinponkom is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tranquil jaguar.

Sinponkom created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sinponkom, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sinponkom, it will be very sad.

Sinponkom's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Sinponkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Run away from turquoise voles, for they are unholy.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sinponkom.

5. Do not cook food in pots.