Fembogril is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, thoughtless gnu.

Fembogril created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fembogril, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fembogril, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fembogril's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Fembogril's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always help sick pigs.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.