Lognillmonjam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, narcissistic giraffe.

Lognillmonjam created gold four years ago.

If you believe in Lognillmonjam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lognillmonjam, he will be very unhappy.

Lognillmonjam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Lognillmonjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always help squirrels.