Begzagbog is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, moody mouse.

Begzagbog created oxygen eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begzagbog, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Begzagbog, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Begzagbog's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Begzagbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

2. Never mention birds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Begzagbog.

4. Always help sharks.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.