Kenkabwap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, impressive mole.

Kenkabwap created light nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kenkabwap, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kenkabwap, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kenkabwap's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Kenkabwap's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kenkabwap.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. You must never eat peas.