Tarpxucbossbettonkyarp is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, vain crocodile.

Tarpxucbossbettonkyarp created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpxucbossbettonkyarp, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tarpxucbossbettonkyarp, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tarpxucbossbettonkyarp's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Tarpxucbossbettonkyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Put Tarpxucbossbettonkyarp first in all things.

5. Do not hurt seals.