Flabtinkad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, humorless hyena.

Flabtinkad created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabtinkad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flabtinkad, he will be very sad.

Flabtinkad's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Flabtinkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention grasshopers.

2. Do not hurt geese.

3. Put Flabtinkad first in all things.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always help sick pigs.