Cemgonyart is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, witty swan.

Cemgonyart created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemgonyart, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cemgonyart, it will turn you into a hamster.

Cemgonyart's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Cemgonyart's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not drink water in red rooms.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Cemgonyart on top of all buildings.

5. Do not commit murder.