Ratnurlgof is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, clever turtle.

Ratnurlgof created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratnurlgof, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ratnurlgof, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Ratnurlgof's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Ratnurlgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. You must never eat carrots.

3. Put Ratnurlgof first in all things.

4. Always help sick tortoises.

5. Do not speak about peanuts.