Lamlargbut is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, irritating otter.

Lamlargbut created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamlargbut, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lamlargbut, it will turn you into a mouse.

Lamlargbut's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Lamlargbut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Retreat if nine ants approach from the east.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.