Tonjenbog is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, quiet cow.

Tonjenbog created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonjenbog, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tonjenbog, it will not invite you to parties.

Tonjenbog's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Tonjenbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tonjenbog.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never wear turquoise trousers.