Bigcapwab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, boastful naga.

Bigcapwab created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigcapwab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bigcapwab, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bigcapwab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bigcapwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Feed all hungry gulls.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never paint your chest turquoise.