Safraktittonmilquam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, bad-tempered whale.

Safraktittonmilquam created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safraktittonmilquam, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Safraktittonmilquam, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Safraktittonmilquam's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Safraktittonmilquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat great tits with great respect.

2. Never think ill of sick frogs.

3. You must pray to Safraktittonmilquam seven times a day.

4. Always help sick badgers.

5. Always stare at clouds.