Matquatfad Tafgudkam is a god.

It takes the form of a large, narcissistic rhinoceros.

Matquatfad Tafgudkam created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matquatfad Tafgudkam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Matquatfad Tafgudkam, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Matquatfad Tafgudkam's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Matquatfad Tafgudkam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Matquatfad Tafgudkam.

2. Never talk about sharks.

3. Always obey Matquatfad Tafgudkam's priests.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.