Bodzan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, all-powerful shark.

Bodzan created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodzan, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bodzan, he will turn you into a snail.

Bodzan's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bodzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bodzan's name in vain.

2. Never laugh near pigs.

3. Always obey Bodzan's priests.

4. You must never eat bread.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.