Sannulkan is a god.

She takes the form of a large, clever monkey.

Sannulkan created the planet Saturn two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sannulkan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sannulkan, she will boil you in a big pot.

Sannulkan's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sannulkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Do not eat garlic.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Never talk about stars.