Donpigciss is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, charitable bat.

Donpigciss created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Donpigciss, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Donpigciss, it will destroy your home planet.

Donpigciss' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Donpigciss' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never eat bread.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Do not drink water in green rooms.