Milxinneg Mipcadab Kabjarnhen is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, generous crow.

Milxinneg Mipcadab Kabjarnhen created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Milxinneg Mipcadab Kabjarnhen, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Milxinneg Mipcadab Kabjarnhen, he will turn you into a sheep.

Milxinneg Mipcadab Kabjarnhen's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Milxinneg Mipcadab Kabjarnhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Milxinneg Mipcadab Kabjarnhen loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Fast once a month.