Piblargkem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, pitiless tortoise.

Piblargkem created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Piblargkem, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Piblargkem, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Piblargkem's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Piblargkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

5. Never think ill of sick snails.