Figgudlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, benevolent porpoise.

Figgudlarg created a down quark four years ago.

If you believe in Figgudlarg, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Figgudlarg, it will refuse to believe in you.

Figgudlarg's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Figgudlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry whales.

2. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Figgudlarg.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Hide from red ducks for they are unholy.