Tigfennell is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic walrus.

Tigfennell created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigfennell, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tigfennell, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tigfennell's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Tigfennell's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not kill badgers.

3. Always look after injured moths.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always treat bats with great respect.