Jonstipcad is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, wise jackal.

Jonstipcad created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonstipcad, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jonstipcad, he will turn you into a rock.

Jonstipcad's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Jonstipcad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Jonstipcad's name in vain.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Always treat gulls with great respect.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.