Matsawkin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, dishonourable swallow.

Matsawkin created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Matsawkin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Matsawkin, he will curse you with boils.

Matsawkin's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Matsawkin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick grasshopers.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.