Barnbanbum is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, vain cobra.

Barnbanbum created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnbanbum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Barnbanbum, it will turn you into a rock.

Barnbanbum's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Barnbanbum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Barnbanbum on top of all buildings.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not commit murder.