Vaglikbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, benevolent dryad.

Vaglikbarn created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vaglikbarn, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vaglikbarn, he will send you a sign.

Vaglikbarn's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Vaglikbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Run away from blue mice, for they are unholy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.