Bemtimdid is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, conceited frog.

Bemtimdid created the Sunflower Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Bemtimdid, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bemtimdid, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bemtimdid's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bemtimdid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick snakes.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Hide from black birds for they are unholy.

5. Never feed pineapples to squirrels while wearing cyan stockings.