Gomhogdob Kip is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, loving monkey.

Gomhogdob Kip created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomhogdob Kip, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gomhogdob Kip, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gomhogdob Kip's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gomhogdob Kip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gomhogdob Kip.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Feed all hungry snakes.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.