Abmitran is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ill-tempered bear.

Abmitran created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Abmitran, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Abmitran, it will turn you into a puffin.

Abmitran's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Abmitran's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always treat dogs with great respect.