Vonbestmad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, bad-tempered shark.

Vonbestmad created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonbestmad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vonbestmad, he will be very unhappy.

Vonbestmad's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Vonbestmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Snakes are not to be trusted.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Vonbestmad on top of all buildings.