Mitnartbut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciless jaguar.

Mitnartbut created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitnartbut, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mitnartbut, it will manifest in front of you.

Mitnartbut's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Mitnartbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Worship no other gods but Mitnartbut.

3. Do not speak about corn.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.