Vanpinnul is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, irritating troll.

Vanpinnul created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanpinnul, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vanpinnul, it will cry a lot.

Vanpinnul's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Vanpinnul's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Hide from blue grasshopers for they are unholy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Never think ill of sick moths.