Tabfigtip is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, bad-tempered spider.

Tabfigtip created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabfigtip, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tabfigtip, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Tabfigtip's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Tabfigtip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not speak about onions.

4. Always help sick shrews.

5. Do not drink alcohol.