Lapshavstan Mobfarnteen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, fast jackal.

Lapshavstan Mobfarnteen created the Sombrero Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapshavstan Mobfarnteen, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Lapshavstan Mobfarnteen, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Lapshavstan Mobfarnteen's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Lapshavstan Mobfarnteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.