Vigrutbestxin Hadwatrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, witty pigeon.

Vigrutbestxin Hadwatrutt created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigrutbestxin Hadwatrutt, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vigrutbestxin Hadwatrutt, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vigrutbestxin Hadwatrutt's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Vigrutbestxin Hadwatrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near foxes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.