Vegrulwig is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, sage clam.

Vegrulwig created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Vegrulwig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vegrulwig, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vegrulwig's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Vegrulwig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not take Vegrulwig's name in vain.