Funkendag is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, resourceful lizard.

Funkendag created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funkendag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Funkendag, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Funkendag's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Funkendag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Funkendag on top of all buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Feed all hungry voles.