Gutcunfum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying aardvark.

Gutcunfum created the Virgo Supercluster four years ago.

If you believe in Gutcunfum, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gutcunfum, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gutcunfum's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gutcunfum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three frogs approach from the south.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.