Bugbestjig is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, temperamental manatee.

Bugbestjig created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Bugbestjig, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bugbestjig, he will send you a sign.

Bugbestjig's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bugbestjig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not drink alcohol.