Batpopzedpad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, calm hippopotamus.

Batpopzedpad created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Batpopzedpad, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Batpopzedpad, he will send minions to preach to you.

Batpopzedpad's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Batpopzedpad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always treat dogs with great respect.

3. Retreat if six tapirs approach from the north.

4. Put Batpopzedpad first in all things.

5. Hide from cyan eagles for they are unholy.