Fomlidstik is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, loving centipede.

Fomlidstik created time and space four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fomlidstik, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fomlidstik, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fomlidstik's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fomlidstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fomlidstik.

4. Always help sick manatees.

5. Never talk about fire.