Minomtwik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing narwhal.

Minomtwik created the Black Eye Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Minomtwik, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Minomtwik, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Minomtwik's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Minomtwik's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Minomtwik.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.