Quatgatwit is a god.

She takes the form of a large, annoying clam.

Quatgatwit created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Quatgatwit, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Quatgatwit, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Quatgatwit's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Quatgatwit's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Never paint your chest fawn.

4. Run away from turquoise shrews, for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to music.