Hadwitrilqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, ruthless wren.

Hadwitrilqueeg created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadwitrilqueeg, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hadwitrilqueeg, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Hadwitrilqueeg's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Hadwitrilqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not commit murder.