Fitjadmig Bellmutfod is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, quiet zebra.

Fitjadmig Bellmutfod created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitjadmig Bellmutfod, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fitjadmig Bellmutfod, he will be very sad.

Fitjadmig Bellmutfod's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Fitjadmig Bellmutfod's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Fitjadmig Bellmutfod.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.