Quimyamgiggutdud is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, wise tapir.

Quimyamgiggutdud created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimyamgiggutdud, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Quimyamgiggutdud, he will be mildly annoyed.

Quimyamgiggutdud's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Quimyamgiggutdud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Do not hurt turtles.

5. Do not covet oxen.