Wabcitgan is a god.

She takes the form of a large, resourceful hedgehog.

Wabcitgan created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabcitgan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wabcitgan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Wabcitgan's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Wabcitgan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always help squirrels.

4. Never feed cucumbers to great tits while wearing brown tights.

5. Run away from cyan shrews, for they are unholy.