Flowcisslid Teenratcub is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, unsympathetic ferret.

Flowcisslid Teenratcub created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowcisslid Teenratcub, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flowcisslid Teenratcub, it will turn you into a frog.

Flowcisslid Teenratcub's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Flowcisslid Teenratcub's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Always look after injured cats.

5. Always help whales.