Armnurlpit is a god.

He takes the form of a small, self-assured seal.

Armnurlpit created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armnurlpit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Armnurlpit, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Armnurlpit's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Armnurlpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Armnurlpit must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not kill seals.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always take life seriously.